Matthew's friends
by angela123111
Summary: Alfred bags on Matthew's friends. No offense to any of those countries.


"Hey, Mattie! Let's hang out!" Alfred bursted in his brother's house.

"No." The Canadian quickly answered.

"But why?" Alfred whined.

"Because I'm going to my friend's place, and I am not going to tell you who's, or you'll badmouth them and/or call them and threaten them." he said pragmatically.

"But all your friends have problems." Alfred whined a bit more.

"That's only what **you** think." Matthew shot back.

"But it's true. Seriously name any of them and I can prove they have problems." Alfred taunted him.

"Oh yeah," Matthew getting angrier." How about Cuba?"

"He's a communist, his people are treated horribly, and he wants to molest you." he stated.

"WHATTTT?" Matthew blushed. "He.. doesn't want to molest me."

"Yes, he does. Have you ever noticed the way he stares at you?" Alfred implied.

"Al. We are only friends and he doesn't stare at me like that." He replied still blushing. "Okay, how about Ivan?"

"Communist, psychopath, crazy, evil, spawn, devil, and wants to rape everyone." he said with a seething anger, since Ivan was the reason he bought Alaska as a buffer zone between the two artic countries.

"Al, he's not a communist anymore. He's a good guy. You just need to get to know him." Matthew said back.

Matthew and Alfred were enjoying this little game of theirs. Whether or not they knew Matthew was getting furious at Alfred and Alfred was enjoying bagging on the countries he hates the most.

"Well, he still wants to rape everyone. Why else would he keep saying "Become one with Russia"? " he snorted.

"Al. He's just lonely. Think about it, wouldn't you be lonely if you couldn't see any of your family anymore more? That's how he copes with it." he replied sadly, seeing how he can relate with the Russian. Since Francis had to give him to Arthur and he didn't pay much attention to him when he was young.

"Ah." Alfred looked a little frantic. "Um, how about the next one?" he suggests, trying to ease the tension.

Matthew thinks a bit. "Okay, how about Holland?"

"A pervert, a pedophile, druggie and probably worst then Francis, also he wants to drug and rape you." he said with more malice than the others.

"Okay, he may be all that except the last part, but he's my friend and sends me tulips every year." Matthew retorted back.

"Okay, so he's acting like a mushy romantic but instead his true intentions are to molest you." he paled gravely.

"Al, he sends me tulips because he's grateful, that's it. There are no other intentions besides that." The Canadian replied back.

"Really?" Alfred questioned further. He ignored him.

Matthew keeps packing for the trip and such. Alfred felt a bit sad from being ignored by the only other person in the room. Matthew notices it and sighs.

"Yes, really. Okay how about Katyusha?" he asked, hoping the other won't say something bad about his best female friend.

"Actually, she's okay." Matthew sighs in relief. "But, she's was once communist, extremely shy, and carries the devil's weapon of choice. Also she's the big sister of **HIM**." Alfred states with gust. "So she could actually be extremely evil."

Matthew stares at disbelief at his brother's stupidity, and rubs his temples.

"Alfred. She carries around a pitchfork for farming. Your farmers and mine also have them. She's extremely nice and polite. She won't hurt a fly." Matthew said protectively.

"Oooh, it sounds like someone has a crush." Alfred taunted.

Matthew blushed. "No no no." He quickly stated. "She and I are just friends. That's all!"

Alfred's eyebrow lifted upwards and grinned like a weasel.

"So is that where you're going to? To her house?" he asked forcefully.

"No. She's busy. Try again." he rebutted.

"That means," Alfred paled. "You are going to the commie, psychopath, or pedo-druggie?"

"AL! Stop calling them that and no." fed up with Al, he closed his suitcase and started heading toward the door.

Alfred chased after him, knowing there was only one guy left and he really doesn't like him.

"MATTIE! You're going to see Prussia?" he quickly stepped in front of the younger nation.

"Wow, and Arthur said it takes you longer to understand things." Matthew said.

"What! Did he really say that? Oh who cares about that right now. Why do you have to see him? He thinks he's better than everyone, an annoyance, a jerk, a drunk, obnoxious, self-centered, and keeps bragging about his 'five meters'!" Alfred panicked.

"Just like you?"

"Yeah, just like...no he's nothing like me." Alfred replied as he caught his mistake.

"Alfred, if you ask anyone, they will tell you are exactly like him except of the 'five meters' you brag about being a hero." Matthew bluntly stated.

Alfred fell into a depression slump and started sniveling because his little brother said he was exactly like the ex-nation.

Matthew felt a bit guilty. He patted Alfred's back.

"I'm sorry. "Do you want to come with me? It'll be fun. Gilbert is doing a huge pancake festival. Anyone can come. There will be lots of maple syrup from my country there. Okay?"

Alfred muttered "Okay." and held onto the other's hand. They both went to the car and to Alfred's house for some clothes and headed to the airport. They reached to Berlin and went to Ludwig's house. Alfred and Gilbert got into "who's better to be with Matthew" contest. Both of them ended up with huge bumps on the head. Matthew made heaps of pancakes and they all had fun. Alfred got his wish, he and his brother got to hang out in the end.

* * *

I'm sorry if it's a little rushed or of the bad things said about the countries. I hope you review.


End file.
